Harriers Chatter

A man who has trained his dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground said he went from Barking to Tooting in just over an hour . . .

I have a stepladder - I never knew my real ladder . . .

I made a huge mistake challenging Death to a pillow fight…
I was not prepared for the reaper cushions.

Three golf clubs went into a bar. The putter asked for a beer. The wedge ordered a tequila. The third said "Nothing for me. I'm the driver."

As part our my new fitness regime I used the new machine they’ve got down at the gym today; made me feel sick!!!
After the third Mars Bar and 5th Kit Kat I’d had enough.

I call it a lift, but my American friend calls it an elevator.
I guess we were just raised differently.

All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh.
But it turned out to be a pyramid scheme.

My kitchen staff help my wife to cook the meal faster.
Well, I say staff, but it's really just a big stick . . .

My brother had a weird side effect when he started dressing like a women and taking hormones. Every time he tried to speak, Heart FM would come out of his mouth.
He became my tran sister radio.

I recently sold a few copies of 'Osteopath Monthly', as I had some back issues.

Am going to see that new film about the pig without an eye.
It's rated PG.

A mathematician afraid of negative numbers will stop at nothing to avoid them.

I like horses - I tried to hire one once - but it fell off the ladder . . .