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Re: zoo

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2021 10:53 pm
by andrewb
Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that's draped in bacon. "A bacon tree! We are saved!!" he says. He runs to the tree but is shot up with bullets. It wasn't a bacon tree - it was a ham bush . . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2021 11:34 am
by andrewb
The limit on contactless payments has just gone up - Today I accidentally swiped my donor card instead of my debit card .

My shopping cost me an arm and a leg . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2021 6:37 pm
by andrewb
Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit - It's a little fit bunny . . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2021 5:23 pm
by andrewb
I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriend's bra. I gave up at the end. I wish I never tried it on in the first place. . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Fri Dec 17, 2021 6:05 pm
by andrewb
I just bought a singing laptop - you may have heard of it - its A Dell !

Re: zoo

Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2021 1:23 pm
by andrewb
It’s foggy out there today, just tried to catch some in my hand , but mist !

Re: zoo

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2021 6:00 pm
by andrewb
If you get an email or phone call offering to teach you how to read maps backwards, just ignore it. It's spam.

Re: zoo

Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2022 2:57 pm
by andrewb
Don't tell secrets in the garden - the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the beanstalk . . .