zoo

The place for your jokes, funny pics and anything else that tickles your fancy.

Moderators: harry211, Phil, harriershane, garthrockett

andrewb
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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:56 pm

A potato wearing glasses came to see the Harriers play - he was a SpecTater . . .

andrewb
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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Wed Aug 21, 2019 9:24 pm

I had a happy childhood - my dad used to put me inside a tyre and roll me down a hill - they were Goodyears . . .

andrewb
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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Sat Sep 28, 2019 2:55 pm

I did a survey on how people walk home from the pub - the results were staggering . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Mon Sep 30, 2019 9:43 am

I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless - I was like 0mg !

andrewb
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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Wed Oct 02, 2019 9:37 am

I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there . . . . .He said it was "Narnia business"

andrewb
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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Mon Oct 07, 2019 10:47 am

I was upset with the state of the Harriers at the moment. My friend said "Cheer up, it could be worse. You could be stuck in a deep hole full of water."
I know he means well . . .

andrewb
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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Tue Oct 08, 2019 6:19 pm

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a harp. The host said my costume was too small to be a harp. I said "Are you calling me a lyre?"

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Re: zoo

Post by brumkidd » Wed Oct 23, 2019 1:28 pm

The urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away.....a whim away...a whim away....
It is only a matter of time before those good people at Camelot give me the lottery jackpot that I so richly deserve.

andrewb
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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Tue Nov 05, 2019 10:30 pm

Police arrested two kids - one for eating batteries, the other for eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

andrewb
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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Wed Nov 13, 2019 8:50 pm

My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defence - I've had a lot on my plate recently . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Tue Dec 03, 2019 11:20 am

Can you give someone a skin graft from your bum - just ass skin for a friend . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Fri Dec 20, 2019 11:21 pm

Oh no! I've just accidently swallowed the cat's tablets - don't ask meow . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Tue Dec 31, 2019 12:31 pm

People are saying I have stolen these jokes off others and that I am a plagiarist - their words not mine . . .

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